eat. go. do. // sydney

(last month, I spent ten days in Sydney. It feels like a breathe of fresh air in my warm comfort zone. The fresh air was very chilly, by the way. I was there during the mid-winter and spending day to day fighting with the winter bite.. but still, Sydney has been very lovely. The people are nice, the city is especially green and gorgeous, the food are indulging, and the sky~ oh.. don't let me start talking about the sky and those rippling clouds! 

I also love the solitary walk! It feels somehow meditative. Walking alone in a random bookstore talking about the shopkeeper's favorite book that he would recommend is probably one of the moment I'd like to remember. I spent most of my time there working (read: studio visits, gallery and museum hopping, writing, and joining talks about art); but I was lucky enough to have a friend who shows me around the city, the tourist spot, the beach, and up to the cabin in the wood!)

//eat//

I didn't go and eat out as much as I usually do when I'm in a new city, but here are a few of my favorite place around Surry Hills (where I stayed): 1/ line up at Bourke Street Bakery for their famous ginger creme brulee tart (it's a 'thing' to do in the morning.) 2/ grab a cup Almond & Macadamia milk cappuccino at Reuben Hills (they serve crocodile meat too!). 3/ have Asian stir fry, sausage roll, or meat pie on the go to eat at the park! 4/ have fish 'n chips and king prawn on a picnic by the sea.. 5/ chill out and treat yourself for a glass of wine and a slice of cheese at Formaggi Ocello. 6/ line up to get a scoop of nitrogen ice cream or Gelato Messina in the mid-winter afternoon.. "because it's not a gelato: it's Messina!", they said.. (I know.. it doesn't actually make sense to line up in a four-degree-celcius mid-winter afternoon for an ice cream.. but apparently, it's a 'thing')

//go// 

there are so many bookstores to go but I only went to some walking-distance bookstores around the neighborhood. My favorites are: 1/ Pentimento-- super cute! it reminds me a little bit of Cat Socrates in Singapore.. 2/ Magnation-- if you're crazy about sidestream magazine, here's heaven! 3/ Elizabeth-- it's not so great but if you're willing to spend hours and hours digging for treasures for bargain second-hand book.. this is the place. 4/ Title-- most of their collection is about music and film but when I was there, they have 30% off mid-winter sale and I got Brassai's book for $17.5 only! 5/ Oscar & Friends-- my personal favorite. The shopkeeper is passionate about book and they have a section called 'Beautiful Books' and just like that.. consider me sold! 6/ the Art Gallery of New South Wales' bookshop-- I died a little when I was browsing through the shelves! // as a part of my job, I went gallery and museum hopping quite a lot (and it was literally hopping-- seems like we're always on the run!). Some of my favorites are those that are architecturally stunning, such as: 1/ Alaska Art Project which is a contemporary art initiative located in a parking space where people usually sell used car.. 2/ Carriageworks-- during my visit, they have a show called "Hereby Make Protest".. the show was enlightening and the gallery is located in an old railway station which is .. magical! 3/ National Art School's Gallery was showing a powerful series of Chien-Chi Chang.. and the gallery used to be an old jail-- which is especially contextual with the works shown at that moment.. 4/ The Commercial Gallery is located inside a plain store building-- which make it reasonable to choose the name and the ongoing show at that time (work of art and 'self-portrait' presented as parfume-- yes, parfume!) 5/ The Conductor Project is an art project that shows artworks at two of the busiest train station in Sydney to get wider audience. // some other venues that I visited: 1/ 4A Center of Asian Contemporary Art-- it's where my curators' intensive was held.. 2/ Art Gallery of New South Wales where I finally see Monet's painting and Sol LeWitt's retrospective show in person..  3/ Artspace-- the space nor the work didn't exactly resonate with me but it was a good show nevertheless.. 4/ Museum of Contemporary Art Australia-- we were rushing because it was almost closing hour but we managed to get swayed by the video works by Taibamo 5/ Newsagency-- where the ladies from Indonesia had their show last year and the gallery has the sweetest cat ever! 6/ Gallery 9-- magical facade, minimalist artworks. // what I missed: 1/ First Draft 2/ Minerva 3/ Sherman Contemporary Art Foundation 4/ ACP 5/ Roslyn Oxley9 6/ White Rabbit 7/ Damien Minton 8/ Darren Knight Gallery

//do//

1/ if I could do it once again, I'd like to go for a slow long walk down the Botanical Garden, to the Opera House, and the circular quay.. which, I did in a very brisk walk because we were always on the run.. (and probably being the only 'touristy' thing I did in my visit) 2/ buy Lucas Papaw Ointment as a gift (everyone thinks it's a great idea: small, simple, local, and useful). 3/ climb the Barrenjoey Lighthouse in Palm Beach-- I was lucky that my friend took me to his summer house by the sea! It was a bit of a hike up to the lighthouse.. but if you are very very lucky.. you can see the whale migrating from that spot! 4/ go to the zoo or the Koala Park! (okay.. I didn't go there so I don't know what's inside the Koala park aside from koalas, of course.. but we drove past in on our way to my friend's home in the woods.. and then I realize: I haven't seen the koalas, the wallabies, and the kangaroos at all!! but well.. then there is a reason to visit the city once again!). 

let me think only about the sky!

(At this moment, I am desperately need a holiday from being concerned. Work has gotten to me lately. I just surprised myself by finishing nine articles for three magazines, two curatorial notes, one catalog essay, and six short online articles. All was done in one and a half months plus two weeks trips. Being back home only to find myself hosting ten dining parties in one week lead me to this point. 

This annual holiday open house ritual has made my house belong to many others: friends, families, and the loved ones. I actually enjoy the baking, the tidying up, and the daily get-together with different groups of closest people. It's heartwarming! It's just.. somehow my June and July has turned into numbers, words, trips, and to-do's. I need that kind of pause when you're so deep in a story that everything else is forgotten.. the world is gone and you are living a moment that is yours and yours alone. 

I am now in a holiday mode. Longing for more privacy; freedom to do whatever my heart tells, a pause to get lost in a good book for hours and hours, to go under the sun, sit on a park bench holding hand with him, transforming small poetic thoughts into something real, to be on the seaside and think only about the sky.. and for just one moment in life: stop making list in my head. For that, I have one more day before Lir start. 

Wish me luck and the fullest day to do nothing..)

retrouvailles

"I like to see people reunited. Maybe that's a silly thing but what can I say. I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can't tell fast enough, the ears that aren't big enough, the eyes that can't take in all the change. I like the hugging, the brining together, the end of missing someone." 

| jonathan safran foer |

(This is the last day of my amazing solo trip in Sydney. I hate to be cheesy but I start to lost count of how many times I miss him.. wishing that he was here sharing all the new senses, excitements, and smells.. wondering about how the simplest daily things in life feels new and magical once again. Tomorrow is the day when absence become presence and the distance between us is just one hug away. The last time distance keep us apart was during my three months internship at Bandung. I remember the weather back then was also as cold and I wrote to him everyday.. The end of my fight with this biting winter weather is also the end of missing him. 

I start to feel warm inside.)

until we meet again!

(when I was much younger, I always imagine myself as a solo traveler. Flying around the world, experiencing life to its fullest. Travelling solo was listed in my dream-list in my junior high school's notebook, high-school group journal, and diaries. It was until when I first travelling solo to Manila in 2004; it start giving me a chill. Then, after finding the perfect travel companion for life, travelling solo start to sound less fun compared to travelling with him. It excites me more to be able to share that beautiful curve of a quaint house, that bluest sky, that thrilling moment of trying strange stuff, a hug when it's too cold, and sharing the excitement of new found little shops or cafe.

Today, I am going to travel solo. It brings me back to my old dreams, combined with all the excitements and unusual thrills. Sure, there will be many firsts: first winter, first walk around the unknown territory, and the sensation of being alone. A good friend will be there guiding me, so, there is nothing to worry about. Plus, I will be pretty busy with the tight class schedule, studio visits, and gallery hopping. Still, I wish I could share it with you. 

I wish you well, until we meet again..)

under the limelight of the camera's eyes

(you see.. under the limelight of the camera's eyes; the world is a little bit more colorful. Life is a little bit more exciting. The world is seen once again in detail and people develop a new way in looking. A split second of beautiful moment is captured and collected. Experiences are shared, personal gaze are opened to wider audience. We know how people arrange their table, eat their beautiful healthy breakfast, interact with their pets, spend their dreamy afternoon, gaze upon the cloud above them. We know what they read, what they see, and how it reflects on their aesthetic. Sometime it was as if people take us into their adventure. It amaze me to see how people could find beauty in the mundane, turning trash into treasure, painting life in a softer light, and get connected to new ideas. 

After all, lives are the sum of  memories. Wouldn't it be nice, in moderation, to capture a split seconds in life while living it? One day, it might be needed to help us remember.)

//my jar of memories: here// 

the silly old man who never finds his way back

(Today, I lost my Shadow.  

We became friend 13 years ago. He was this clumsy 3 years-old husky trying to adapt with the tropical environment and I was this teenage girl who was thrilled to get a dog for the very first time. We didn't get along that well back then. He was huge and our very first walk together resulting in an embarrassing tragedy when he chew and killed two of my neighbor's kitten out of curiosity. I was a little bit afraid of him before I realize that he was simply curious. 

Shadow is all about unconditional love. We had this on-and-off relationship. In some glorious day, I'll jump right away to where we keep him. But often my day seize me away and we separated for a week, months, or more. Even then, he would always be there; waiting for me patiently, hug me persistently, and gets really really excited when I'm around. He could not bark so he would howl when he hear my voice few miles away. It was as if I just left him for a day instead of two months. He never get bored, never gets cranky, never feel abandoned, never demanding, and always be so nice. Just like an old shoes, the more he spend time with me, the more comfortable we are to each other.  

Years passed and there he was through one broken hearts to another,  numerous adventures to the forest, purposeless walks, and many picnic photos together. In 13 years I had several other pets that are dear to me but Shadow is special. In my solitude, he will always be the one protecting me and my heart from any harm. He is just perfect to be my daydreaming pal and his hug is always comforting. With him, I'll take a longer walk to the unknown path and deeper heart of the forest. I know I am safe. 

Shadow, you silly old man who never find your way back home, remember me until we meet again at the rainbow bridge!)

thought // on doing your best

(four years ago I took a leap into the unknown. Back then, I asked for 'permission' from my mom and my uncle to try and live my dream for two years and if I failed.. I'll rush back to the path I was supposed to take. Then, I remember my uncle said I should never try and find a job that will satisfy him or make my mom proud. He said that I should not living up to anyone's expectation but mine and pleasing everyone else is never a good idea. He said that it is better to try and meet one's very own personal goals. That day, instead of two years trial, I was given a blank slate and unconditional encouragement from my loved ones. Since then, life has been an adventure.

About my uncle.. oh, the cleverness of him! 

What he did not warn me back then was how satisfying myself if far more difficult than satisfying everyone else. You see, people's judgement will be based on their narrow inaccurate point of view of you.. and people might have completely different value than you do. That makes their judgement can be considered irrelevant in some cases. It is a whole different case with yourself: you are *you*. You~ and only yourself will know when are you working your best and when are you just playing around with stuff. That limit is very personal. In my case, I always hope to surprise myself every now and then. When I feel like I wasn't doing my best, I failed myself. 

I remember asking a senior artist about his best artwork or one that loves the most. He said, "It is the one I have yet to create". Apparently, he doesn't like most of what he just made. He thinks that his artwork needs more time to show its hidden potential. Of course, there are moment when the time is right and he would actually like the work he made.

Don't get me wrong.. I'm happy with my life. But when it comes to job-related satisfaction and that particular feeling of achievement, I can be very difficult to myself. But.. is it always like that: to grow, you shouldn't be satisfied and settled~ go beyond your comfort zone, do your best, and never settle for what it is today. That, or be grateful? Stop for awhile and enjoy the moment or quickly asking for 'what's next'? Do I need time and space to judge things better and to breathe? 

How about you, dear reader?*) 

(*) of course.. only if there is anyone at all who actually read this blog.. lol!