(four years ago I took a leap into the unknown. Back then, I asked for 'permission' from my mom and my uncle to try and live my dream for two years and if I failed.. I'll rush back to the path I was supposed to take. Then, I remember my uncle said I should never try and find a job that will satisfy him or make my mom proud. He said that I should not living up to anyone's expectation but mine and pleasing everyone else is never a good idea. He said that it is better to try and meet one's very own personal goals. That day, instead of two years trial, I was given a blank slate and unconditional encouragement from my loved ones. Since then, life has been an adventure.
About my uncle.. oh, the cleverness of him!
What he did not warn me back then was how satisfying myself if far more difficult than satisfying everyone else. You see, people's judgement will be based on their narrow inaccurate point of view of you.. and people might have completely different value than you do. That makes their judgement can be considered irrelevant in some cases. It is a whole different case with yourself: you are *you*. You~ and only yourself will know when are you working your best and when are you just playing around with stuff. That limit is very personal. In my case, I always hope to surprise myself every now and then. When I feel like I wasn't doing my best, I failed myself.
I remember asking a senior artist about his best artwork or one that loves the most. He said, "It is the one I have yet to create". Apparently, he doesn't like most of what he just made. He thinks that his artwork needs more time to show its hidden potential. Of course, there are moment when the time is right and he would actually like the work he made.
Don't get me wrong.. I'm happy with my life. But when it comes to job-related satisfaction and that particular feeling of achievement, I can be very difficult to myself. But.. is it always like that: to grow, you shouldn't be satisfied and settled~ go beyond your comfort zone, do your best, and never settle for what it is today. That, or be grateful? Stop for awhile and enjoy the moment or quickly asking for 'what's next'? Do I need time and space to judge things better and to breathe?
How about you, dear reader?*)
(*) of course.. only if there is anyone at all who actually read this blog.. lol!